Regret!

I want you to make the effort,
I want to be sought after, irresistibly
I want to occupy your mind, as you do mine
I want you to love me more than I love you.

Found this somewhere..... & how I wish I can let him know about it, about what I'm thinking now...

He turn his back to me and left me standing there alone waiting for his answer after asking him ques.

What had happenned to this relationship?

On my own,
pretending he's beside me,
All alone I walk with him til morning
without him, I feel his arms around me.
and when I lose my way I close my eyes and he has found me.
( When I'm alone, I'll always pretend that he's just beside me, I always want him to be beside me, teaching me math, lend me a shoulder to lie on when I'm feeling tired, I always pretend that he's hugging me tightly, so tight that I can even feel and hear his heartbeat)

In the rain the pavement shines like silver,
all the lights are misty in the river,
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight,
And all I see is him and me forever and forever.
( after the rain, everything seems so nice, but all I see is only him)

And I know it's only in my mind,
That I'm talking to myself and not to him,
And although I know that he's blind,
still I say, there's a way for us.
( I knew that I'm only keeping all this thoughts to myself, it's only a dream but not a reality. However, I still have a little hope.)

I love him but when the night is over,
he's gone, the river is just a river,
without him the world around me changes,
the trees are bared and everywhere the streets are full of strangers.
( He only show he's love to me when we are alone, he never do that in front of his friends, I felt hurt every time he does this to me. Like I'm transparent, every time, when we were walking out for lunch, he'll surely walk in front of me- faster than me. So that his other friends won't see. I'm used to it already, but I still feel uneasy)

I love him but everyday I'm learning,
All my life I have only been pretending,
without me his world will go on turning,
the world is full of happiness that I have never known....

I love him but only on my own.....

Last time, when our choir is singing this song, I can still remember Pn Doreen asked us to imagine the guy you like standing in front of you and you want to tell that guy how much you love him but you couldn't due to some reasons la....

I always imagine the guy that I used to like when I was in F1,2 and 3.... yea... it's the same guy....
and sometimes when I was really into the song, I feel heartache and tears bursting out( but I'll control it wer)


T.T